


Third Base, I Don't Know

by amythis



Series: Laverne & Lenny: From Me to You [1]
Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:03:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8632978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/pseuds/amythis
Summary: Laverne explains a few things to Lenny and finds out a lot she didn't know.





	1. First and Second

They were watching a program about Abbott and Costello, when Lenny turned to Laverne and asked, "What's third base?"

Laverne automatically replied, "I don't know."

He chuckled but said, "No, I wanna know. I mean I know what first base is and, uh, home plate, but I've never understood what they mean by third."

Laverne wondered if this was a trap, Lenny playing dumb to get her to make out. But Lenny wasn't clever enough to play dumb like that. Besides, it wasn't necessary.

Shirley was out of town for the weekend, visiting her brother Bobby, and Squiggy had dropped heavy hints that Lenny should stay out very late while Squiggy was entertaining a date. So Laverne had invited Lenny over to watch television. And while it wasn't like they'd been snuggling on the couch, it had been a fun, relaxing evening, just laughing and talking and hanging out with her best guy friend.

She hadn't felt weird being alone with him. He'd been a perfect gentleman. And even now, well, it could've been a friendly question. But she wasn't sure how friendly an answer she wanted to give.

The thing was, Laverne hadn't had a date in weeks. It wasn't exactly a dry spell. She had been asked out a couple times, by cute guys, too, but she just hadn't been interested enough. This evening with Lenny had been better than any real date she'd had in a long time.

So why turn it into something else? Well, she did miss making out. And she liked and trusted Lenny, especially away from Squiggy. And she knew he was not a bad kisser. And he definitely would say yes. She just had to set down the ground rules.

"Ya want me to show you?"

He looked at her like he thought it was a trap. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not."

"I'd love it!"

The L-word convinced her they had to get things clear first. "OK, but only under the following three conditions."

"One for each base?"

"Not exactly. One, you never tell anyone, especially Squiggy, about this."

"Sure, Laverne. I respect your reputation."

She gave him a look to see if he was trying to be funny, but he looked completely serious. "Two, you don't say the L-word."

He looked down at her chest, specifically her embroidered cursive L.

"I mean the one you sang about me last year."

He met her eyes again. "Oh, that L."

"Yeah. We're just gonna be a couple of friends foolin' around, OK?"

"Sure, Laverne, whatever you want."

"And three, when I say it's time for you to leave, you leave."

She expected him to point out that Squiggy didn't want him to come home anytime soon, but he just said OK.

"OK," she echoed. "So you know what first base is."

"Refresh my memory."

She smiled. Well, it wasn't like they could slide right into third. She needed to warm up first. Besides, she did enjoy the steps along the way.

"Well," she said, taking his hand, "hand-holding is definitely first base. You can do it in public and nobody minds."

"Yeah," he said squeezing her hand. His was big and strong, but also gentle and a little sweaty, probably from nerves.

The name Ned Stern popped into her head from Shirley's warning last year. Shirl would obviously think Laverne was leading Lenny on. But Laverne would do her best to ignore that voice in her head.  


"What about kissing?" he asked. "First or second?"

"Depends on the kiss. A little peck on the cheek or lips?" She demonstrated. "That's first."

"So first base is stuff you could do with family."

"Uh, yeah, if you wanna look at it that way."

"Or a good friend that's plutonic."

"Yeah." Again, she wondered if this was a trap. But for what? She'd already offered to go further with him than most girls would, or than she'd go with most guys.

He continued, "But a soul kiss, that's gotta be second, right?"

"Well, yeah, or a closed kiss that goes on so long it would make someone watching it feel uncomfortable."

"Show me."

So she did. This time she kissed his mouth long enough for him to kiss back, which he did enthusiastically. By the time it turned into their longest kiss ever, their mouths were open and their tongues were getting acquainted.

He was a really good kisser. It wasn't that he had a great technique. The kiss was a little sloppy. But he threw himself into it, like there was nothing he'd rather be doing. At the same time, he seemed to be trying to make it really nice for her, doing optional tender things like stroking her face and her hair. She started doing the same to him and noticed that neither was as greasy as she remembered. Actually, both his hair and his face felt smooth to the touch tonight.

When she carefully pulled away, he had that goofy grin on his face. Did kissing always have that effect on him, or just kissing her?

"Yeah, that's definitely second."

She smiled. "Yeah."

Then he snapped back to his earlier serious expression. "This is where it gets confusing for me, where the lines are. Like necking has gotta be second, because you shouldn't do it walking down the street, but you could do it at a drive-in."

"Or sitting on the couch in front of the TV, when no one else is home."

He swallowed before quietly saying, "Yeah." He leaned over and turned off the TV. Then he stroked her hair and gently pulled her face towards his again. But this time, she veered off towards his neck. She nuzzled at first, but even that really got to him, judging by the way he gasped her name.

"Ya like that, Len?" she whispered.

"I lo— it's not bad."

His neck was very sensitive, whether she lightly scratched or kissed it. She even licked and sucked on it a little, just to hear him gasp and groan.

"Hickeys are second, right?"

"Yeah, they are Len, but I'm not biting you anywhere Squiggy might see it."

"Darn, that rules out a lot."

She didn't wanna know.

Then he said, "You're spoiling me here, Laverne. Lemme reciprobate a little."

She rested against the couch and said, "Reciprobate away."

So he did. He nuzzled her neck and then lightly scratched and kissed it. He licked and sucked it, but she didn't have to tell him not to leave marks that Shirley would notice.

"Is that good, Laverne?" he whispered in her ear, his voice deeper than usual, closer to his singing voice, which always surprised her, a voice like that coming out of Lenny.

"Yeah, it's good," she said, then made their necking more two-sided.

There was still a part of her that couldn't believe this was happening. She was making out with Lenny in her living room. She knew there might be consequences tomorrow and beyond, but it felt too good to stop.

"What about feeling you up, Laverne?" Lenny asked in his regular voice, but it was in her ear and it sounded pretty sexy right then.

"Uh, above the waist and/or over clothes is second."

"Yeah?" he asked, his thumb lightly tracing the L of her blouse.

"Yeah," she replied, in part meaning yeah, he could touch her chest now. He took it that way, since his hand stroked her left breast over the blouse.

She guided his hand under her blouse, watching his eyes get big, like this was a dream come true. Laverne was no Marilyn Monroe but she thought she had a nice set. And Lenny looked like he thought her chest was the best thing since sliced bread.

As he slid his hand into her bra, he asked, "Am I allowed to compliment you?"

"As long as you don't get too mushy."

"I just wanted to say your boobs are even softer than I imagined."

She was both flattered and amused. "Well, thanks."

"If I undo your bra, we're still at second, right?"

"Yeah, we've got lots to do before third."

"Good. I'm enjoying every step along the way."

"Me, too, Len," she confessed.

"Yeah? I know I'm no San Juan or Bossa Nova like Squiggy."

"Believe me, Squiggy wouldn't get past first base with me."

Lenny looked surprised and flattered. He also looked like he might say something mushy, so she reminded him, "My bra, Lenny."

"Oh, right, sorry."

He was a little clumsy with the clasp, like he'd done this before but not often. She kissed his cheek to show it was OK.

"You're such a nice girl, Laverne."

She snorted. "Not at second base."

"Well, it's nice of you to be naughty with me."

She almost said, "My pleasure," but she was afraid to admit just how much she was enjoying this.

He freed her breasts enough to play with both. They went back to necking and it was fantastic. It felt both like they could do this all night and like she would die if she didn't go further that night.  


"Laverne," he said in her ear, "it's still second if I kiss 'em, right?"

"Yes, Lenny," she gasped.

"It's just they're so soft and pretty, like your face."

It was kind of a weird compliment, but that was probably the only kind she could get from him.

She whispered in his ear, "Your hands feel really good, but I want your mouth, too."

"Oh, Laverne!" he groaned, making her feel like she'd offered even more than she had. But she soon realized it was just how Lenny was, acting like anything she offered was an incredible gift.

She helped him strip off her blouse and bra and then let him rest his head in her lap. He looked up at her with a mixture of adoration and animal hunger and she knew she should probably kick him out before they finished second base, but she also knew she'd always wonder what she'd missed. So she leaned forward and dangled her breasts over him.

"Oh, Laverne!" he gasped and then sat up to take the left one into his mouth. At first he was gentle and reverent, so she stroked his hair. But his need took over and he started sucking, while squeezing and teasing the right one.

She wanted to moan his name, but she didn't want the neighbors to hear. So she just whispered it.

He must've heard her 'cause he sat up suddenly.

"Len, what's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothin'," he said, and then she was lying down on the couch and he was lying on top of her, his feet hanging off, as he pleasured her chest. And it wasn't that he pushed her down or that she pulled him on top of her, but more like an earthquake had shaken them into a new position.

She pulled his hair a little as he rolled his tongue around her hard nipples. She hadn't even noticed when they'd hardened, although she had the feeling he'd noticed. With the attention he was giving her chest tonight, he'd clearly been observing it for awhile.

He cupped each breast from underneath when each's turn came along, but he'd still squeeze the waiting one and pinch the nipple, as if to say, "Be patient, I only got one mouth."


	2. Third, Part One

Laverne kept thinking she might come from second base, although sometimes she couldn't even get there from third. Who knew Lenny was such a makeout artist? Probably even Lenny didn't know, but that just made him sexier. Sort of the opposite of being with the very confident Fonz. But Fonzie could make any girl feel good, while Lenny made her feel like he would never enjoy second base as much as tonight with her.

It made her feel special but it also scared her a little. What did tonight mean to Lenny and what did it mean to her? She needed to get this back to a purely fun and physical level, before Lenny got reinfatuated with her. "Len, are you getting hard?"

He guffawed in her cleavage. "Does this answer your question?" He shifted so that she could feel his crotch against her leg.

"Uh yeah, it does."

He sat up, moving her legs into his lap and lightly stroking them. "And I thought you were smart."

"I can be kinda stupid sometimes."

"I guess, if you don't know that making out with a sexy girl like you is driving me crazy. Geez, Laverne, sometimes I get happy in my pants just when you smile at me and call me Len."

That was more than she wanted to know, but she said, "Uh, thanks."

"I've been fighting it all night, in case you change your mind about third base, but I'm only human, Laverne."

There had been a time when she'd seen Lenny and Squiggy more like creatures from another world, but she was very aware tonight of what a normal man Lenny was. Well, healthy anyway.

"I haven't changed my mind. Uh, ya want a handjob?"

"I would lo— That's another stupid question."

"Shut up and take off your jeans."

"I'll take off my jeans but I'm not gonna shut up."

"Who are you kiddin'? If I give you a handjob, you'll do anything I say."

Lenny gave her a look that said they both knew she had had him in the palm of her hand for years. But he just stood up, shut up, and took off his jeans.

The bulge in his jeans was now stretching his briefs to their limit.

"Funny, I woulda had you pegged more as a boxers kind of guy."

"Yeah? You been giving my underwear much thought, Laverne?"

"Probably a lot less thought than you've been giving mine."

The bulge wiggled like it couldn't deny it. She glanced up at his face and he was actually blushing.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to the couch. "It'll be easier if you sit instead of stand."

"Plus we can neck some more. If it's OK to mix bases."

"We're not exactly playing by Major League rules."

"We're in a league of our own."

She chuckled. Then she put her hand lightly on his crotch and whispered in his ear, "You think about me sometimes, Len?" It wasn't really a question.

"Laverne," he pleaded.

"It's OK tonight. This is different."

"Yeah, it's a night you ask dumb questions."

She started lightly stroking the front of his briefs and she said his name in a wheedling tone.

"Yeah, I think about you, more than you want to know. But you always say," he had to catch his breath before continuing. "You say we're just friends, so I figured nothin' was ever gonna happen. And I know this is just a one-time thing, but maybe that's good, cause I think I'd drop dead if this happened on a regular basis.

She laughed affectionately. "Oh, Lenny."

"Laverne, just tell me one thing. Why tonight? Is it 'cause we're alone or what?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. You asked a question I wanted to answer."

"Third base," he said quietly.

"Yeah. And we're not gonna do everything that people might call third. Just enough to send you home with a smile on your face."

"Heck, Laverne, first base woulda done that."

She smiled and then kissed his cheek. But then she tugged on his waistband and helped him wriggle out of his briefs.

"Can I compliment you, Len?"

"As long as you don't get too mushy."

"You got a nice-lookin' whatsit."

"Second base."

"You goof."

She kissed him, this time on the lips. It turned into a soul kiss, as she wrapped her hand around his thing. It was hard and hot and probably utterly devoted to her. Even if it had been a few other places. Well, so had her hands, But that didn't make her and Lenny any less enthusiastic.

She started using both hands, one to cup the tip and one to slide along the shaft. Sometimes she looked down but mostly she watched his very emotional face.

He must've been aware of the neighbors, too, since he was now frantically whispering, mostly her name but also phrases like "so good" and "no one ever."

"Ya wanna come, Len?"

She half expected him to ask in his usual voice, "Where?", or say in his voice of tonight, "Another dumb question." But he said, "You want me to come for you, Laverne?"

"Yeah, Len. Show me what ya got."

So he did. There was a lot, like he'd been saving up for hours, or in a different way for years. When she went to get paper towels to clean up, she noticed a stray tear running down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She silently scolded herself. Imagine getting sentimental about a handjob. But she knew it wasn't just that to Lenny. She didn't want to think about what it probably meant to him, or give any thought to what it might mean to her.

When she came back to the couch, his eyes were shut. "You're not fallin’ asleep, are ya?"

He opened his eyes and smiled. "This feels like a dream, but I'm wide awake. Here let me do that," he said, taking the towels. "You shouldn't have to clean up my mess."

"Hey, I helped you make it. Besides, you're my guest."

"Well, you're a hell of a hostess, Miss DeFazio."

They smiled at each other and then kissed. Then she tried to wipe him off without getting anything on the couch.

"Shirl will kill me if we get stains on here."

"Tell her we had ice cream."

She remembered a boyfriend telling her, "Pretend it's an ice cream cone." Was that third base? Lenny would probably explode if she tried that.

"Why don't you get a blanket?" he suggested. "It can cover up the couch."

"Why didn't you think of that an hour ago?"

"I'm not the smart one."

She wasn't so sure about that anymore. She left the paper towels with him and went into the bathroom to wash up. Then she took the blanket off her bed. She could do laundry before Shirley got back.


	3. Third, Part Two

Lenny stood up and helped her spread the blanket on the couch. When they sat down, they cuddled up together.

"So you gonna kick me out soon?"

"Nah, let's give Squiggy awhile longer with his date."

"OK." Lenny sighed happily. Then he said, "Laverne, can I ask you something personal?"

"Uh, like you haven't already?"

"Well, this is really personal."

"Go ahead. I won't answer if I don't wanna."

"Um, well." He swallowed. "Do you ever, um, touch yourself?"

"Well, probably not nearly as much as you touch yourself. But, yeah, I've been known to."

"Are you gonna after I leave?"

"Lenny!"

"See, I told ya it was personal."

She shook her head but she did answer, "Yeah, probably. This was nice and you got me real worked up."

"Yeah? Can I touch you?"

"Lenny!"

"Hey, Laverne, it is third base. And you did it to me."

"That's different."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Is it 'cause you can't control it?"

"What?"

"I mean, when you were doin' it to me, you could kind of step back from it. I mean in your mind."

"Oh."

"Are you afraid I'm gonna make ya come?"

"Lenny!"

"I bet you are. I bet you're the kind of girl who falls for a guy a little if he makes her come."

"It's not like that many guys have," she admitted.

"Yeah? What a waste! I bet you come real nice, Laverne."

"Lenny!"

"OK, if you don't want me to try, I won't."

"What makes you so sure you can?" she said, a little defiantly.

"Because I know you and because I want to make you real real happy."

She felt like crying again. He was so sweet! But she wasn't ready to let go of her toughness, so she said, "Hey, if that's important to you, give it your best shot."

He grinned. "You got it. Can you lean back against me?"

"OK." She let him spoon her sitting up. She was kind of glad he'd already come, because she was very aware of his limp whatsit hanging out right near the back of her skirt.

"Just relax, Laverne," he murmured, and then kissed her neck. Then he reached down with his long arms and slowly pushed up her skirt. "I do touch myself, Laverne, specially when I'm alone and thinking about you."

"Oh, Len."

"I wouldn't ever have admitted that, if not for tonight. And I know you've never thought about me that way before, but maybe you woulda tonight. Maybe you still will after you kick me out."

"Yeah, maybe."

"And I know this is just a one-time thing, but that's why I want it to be the best it can be, for both of us."

"Well, thanks, Len, but—"

"Let me finish, Laverne. If you ever change your mind and you wanna, well, hit a home run with me, I would be honored. And if you don't, well, I understand. But I'm always gonna want you and lo— like you. This ain't just a physical thing for me, Laverne."

"I know, Len." She kinda wished it was. That would make it simpler.

"I'm gonna stick to your rules, but you can't make me think or feel what you want me to. Just like I can't make you think or feel what I want, except I hope I can at least make you feel good enough to come." He kissed her neck.

"Oh, Len."

"If there's any part of you that can imagine us doin' it, I hope you'll think about that now. Or if you wanna picture some other guy, OK. Whatever you need."

"Len, I'm gettin' real close to tellin' you to shut up again."

"OK." One hand reached under her skirt. "Less talk and more action, huh?"

"Talk is OK. Just don't start talkin' about thoughts and feelings and stuff."

"OK," he said again. But he did stop talking for awhile, as he carefully caressed her panties. She was damp already from before and he was making her wetter. Then he asked, "Would you mind if I made noises?"

"What kinda noises?"

"Heavy breathin'."

"You're not an obscene phone caller. Or are you?"

"Nah, I'm too shy. Squiggy though...."

"Yeah, no, it's fine. I get that I excite you. It's OK to express that."

"OK." He did breathe a little heavy, but it wasn't creepy or nothin'.

"You get that worked up when you just came?"

"Laverne, you could wake me up at three in the morning and I'd be excited."

"Good to know."

"What about you? You're so quiet."

"I don't know. I guess I'm self-conscious. Plus, you know, the neighbors."

"Yeah, but little sounds are OK, right?"

"Sure." Then he moved one hand up to play with her chest and she let out a little moan of surprise and pleasure.

"Yeah, that's more like it."

"Thanks. Oo!"

He was now tugging on her waistband. "Can you take this off?"

"Sure." She wriggled out of her panties. And then she moved his hand back to her crotch.

"Oh, Laverne! Did you come already?"

She almost laughed. "No, that's just the moisture from before. When I come, believe me, you'll know it."

"When?" he teased.

"Or if. We'll see."

"We sure will." His long fingers stroked her folds and his thumb found her button after not too long a search, which was more than some guys managed. Usually they wanted to just open her up so they could stick their thing inside, if she let 'em. But Lenny wasn't aiming for home plate, at least not tonight. "Mmm, Laverne, it's really nice in there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Do you like my fingers?"

"Uh huh," she said, and it came out as more of a whimper than she meant it to.

"You like me playin' with ya?"

"Yeah," she gasped.

"As much as you playin' with yourself?"

"Maybe a little better."

"Yeah?" She knew he was grinning even though she couldn't see it.

And then she felt something pressing against her rear. "Lenny! You can't be hard already!"

"Well, actually, Laverne, I can. Especially when I'm thinkin' about you. Sometimes I gotta play with myself a couple times just to be satisfied."

"Oh God, Len!"

His fingers started thrusting inside her. "You think you'd like that, Laverne? I mean if we did it someday. Like, if we had enough time alone, we could do it maybe two or three times that night."

"God, Lenny!" She could just imagine it, his thing filling her up, thrusting and thrusting like his fingers were now, again and again and again. Night after night, as the Lenny & the Squigtones song went.

"Is that a yes?"

"I don't know. Don't ask me right now! You're not playin' fair and I'm not makin' a big decision like that when I feel like this."

"OK. Then just think about how this feels."

She turned around to face him. His look of hunger and adoration was also very teasing. This was not shy Lenny Kosnowski no more. This was a man who knew he got to her, that he could really make her lose control. And yeah, she was tempted, but this was all happening too fast. Voe-dee-oh was one thing, but voe-dee-oh-doe-doe was another.

She reached for his hard member and he cried, "God, Laverne, please, yes!"

Tempted though she was to put him inside her, she couldn't, not yet. So she played with him as he played with her. And they necked and made a lot of happy noises. She could imagine doin' it with him and she knew he was thinkin' about it, which turned her on more.

She came first and had to stop touchin' him while she let the feelings wash over her. She closed her eyes and then opened them to find him staring at her more adoringly than ever. The name Ned Stern again popped into her head. Well, she didn't care no more. Lenny was makin' her feel real good that night, and that wasn't a crime, was it?

She coughed. "Sorry, I got a little distracted there." She went back to playing with him.

"I don't mind. You want another?"

"Well, if it's no bother."

"No bother at all." He slipped his fingers into her again, and vibrated his thumb against her button as he slid his hand back and forth.

"Jesus, you're good, Len!"

"Yeah? You ain't half bad yourself."

She started stroking him more intently now. "You wish this was us, without the hands, huh, Len?"

"Laverne!"

"Well, maybe I do, too, but this is all we're gettin' this weekend, OK?"

"Yeah, conditions!" he gasped.

"Right. No tellin' no one, no stayin' all night, and, uh."

"No me telling you I love you, that you're the most wonderful girl I've ever met, and every time I've proposed to you, I've meant it."

"Uh, yeah. And, anyway, Len— OH, SWEET JESUS, HERE WE GO AGAIN!" Her whole body was shaking, especially the middle.

"Oh, this is a big one, huh, Laverne?"

"Yeah, big!" she gasped, and she squeezed his thing, making him come all over her hand and onto the blanket and probably her skirt, but at least probably not on the couch this time. And she knew she was making her own mess, with his help.

He gave her a big wet smack on the cheek. "Wow, Laverne, this was fun! I guess I should be goin' now."

"Hey, what's your hurry?"

"Condition number three. And you pretty much answered my original question about third base."

"I don't know, Len. I didn't say it's time for you to go. Or are you tired of me already?"

"Another stupid question," he said, and they silently agreed to explore third base a little more in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> A rambling explanation:
> 
> I guess you could call me a born-again Lavennist. I watched _Laverne & Shirley_ at the time, and while S/S seemed impossible, there was always something about L/L that made me quietly root for them. Lenny could be very sweet and he clearly adored Laverne. Her feelings for him were less clear, yet she was definitely fond of him. But it wasn't one of my major ships, not that I knew what ships were in that sense, so it's not like I'd given it much thought in the past thirty years.
> 
> I suppose you could blame YouTube, the way you can click on a suggested video and then another and soon you've fallen down the rabbit hole and you're not sure how you've gotten to this unfamiliar, or in this case, strangely familiar place. And it turns out other people have noticed her L on his jacket and The Look in His Eyes.
> 
> So here I am shipping without having watched more than a handful of episodes in three decades. (I did, however, read these wonderful analyses: https://ship-manifesto.dreamwidth.org/162737.html and http://knapp-street.org/prof/Lenny.html.) Forgive me if I've gotten things wrong about the series or the characters. This was something I was compelled to write, in a way I seldom am, although it's been percolating for about a week.
> 
> Why smut? Why not some sweet first-kiss fic? I think because, one, something more innocent would have to be more of a character study, and I don't feel ready to do my usual more detailed, canonical approach, and two, smut captures the intensity of these feelings that have blindsided me. (The rough draft that became Chapters One and Two was written in a stream-of-consciousness, on my new phone from 3 a.m. to 8 a.m., which I assure you is not my usual mode of composition.)


End file.
